Monday 17 March 2008

Should You Grieve When Your Pet Dies?



When a beloved pet dies the emotions that come out can be overwhelming; grief, loss, emptiness, guilt (if you have made the choice of euthanasia) and depression are just some that can arise. For non pet lovers it is hard to comprehend why we should feel so much for 'just an animal' and many cannot understand why there are the same, and sometimes stronger, emotions arising as when a relative dies. The truth is that these animals are family to us, often as beloved as children, and that the grief we feel when our 'babies' pass on can be as real to us as that of a family member.
I suffered from all the emotions recently when I awoke to find one of my cats had died in her sleep. Guilt - had she been ill and I hadn't noticed, loss - she had been my companion for over fourteen years and helped me through much, emptiness - her loss has left a big hole in my life, and grief for her passing. Yet my initial reaction was to hide my feelings, firstly from my two young children who wouldn't understand, and secondly because of others vision of 'it's just a cat'. And then I realised that, whilst not breaking down in front of my children was sensible, denying myself a grieving process because of what others think is just plain stupid. Restricting your emotions is damaging to your well being - grieving is natural and healthy and should be accepted no matter who we are grieving over.
Here are a few more myths to dispel:
It is best to grieve alone. Actually grief is best shared and easier to overcome if others show sympathy and understanding.
The loss of a pet is not as important as the loss of a human. Not true. I have a wonderful family but the loss of one of my cats still hits me hard. They are also my family, and for many are the same as babies.
If you euthanise your pet you are selfish. By letting you pet die with dignity and releasing them from pain is a gift that we can give a loved one. If you want to prolong your animal to a few more months of pain, that would be selfish.
Pets don't mourn the loss of other pets. Tell that to my other cat! He is still looking for his companion, as he has when one has gone before.
The best way to deal with grief is to keep busy. Grief does not go away if you push it to one side. It will return, with greater force.
Getting another pet as soon as possible will stop you feeling grief. Not so. Another animal cannot replace the one that has died and if you rush into getting another before you have had time to say goodbye to the first you may not be emotionally ready to accept it.
Suffering loss is painful, no matter who you have lost. Grief is part of the healing process, but often you will need help to come to terms with your pain and loss. Seeking help does not mean that you are weak, it shows that you are strong enough to accept that you can feel the loss of another, and are strong enough ask for help.
The people that understand best how deep emotions can run over the death of a beloved pet are other pet lovers. Psychologists know the in's and out's of emotions but cannot understand why pets mean so much to us. I feel strongly about loss of pets and have written some articles on my hub at http://www.hubpages.com/hub/Coping-with-the-death-of-a-pet
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Donna_Newnham


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